Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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