I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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