But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
It's never too late to be topless.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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