How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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