Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
