The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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