just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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