I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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