the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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