Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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