i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
