she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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