I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
