I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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