3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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