try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
