If that was your dad, he is hot
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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