dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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