she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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