It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
