bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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