garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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