i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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