This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
