More tranny stories later!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
