this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
