I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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