Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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