Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize