but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
