Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
