I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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