You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
