I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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