I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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