Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
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