We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I am spending my child support on dildos
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
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