Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
