I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
one two three fourrrrnication!
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
