She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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