She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
