THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
