The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I FOUND THE LEGS
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
