My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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