We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
