My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
that is very illegal...i love you.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
