Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
why do cheetos always look like penises
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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