I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
