Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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