i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
