Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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