I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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