my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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