Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
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