I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
