Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
