whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I don't deserve a penis
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
