Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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