I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
how does that bad decision feel?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
